Getting married is very much like going to the restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.

There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married, and now he is going through HELL.

A guy goes on safari in Afrika and takes his dog along. As the dog wanders around he sees a leopard heading toward him, and the leopard looks hungry. The dog thinks, Oh boy, I’m in trouble. Then he spots some bones on the ground and he starts chewing on them, with his back to the leopard. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the dog says, “Man, that was one delicious leopard. I wonder if there are any more around here.” The leopard stops in mid-launch and slinks away into the trees. “Whew”, he says, “that was close. That dog nearly had me.”

A monkey, watching the whole scene from a tree, figures he can get in good with the leopard - and save his own skin - by wising the leopard up to what had just happened. He catches up with the big cat and spills the beans. The leopard, pissed off at being made a fool, says, “Come on, monkey. Hop on my back. You’re going to see what happens to that conniving canine.”

The dog sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back. He thinks, What am I going to do now? Then, instead of running, the pooch sits down with his back to the two of them. Just when the leopard and the monkey get close enough, the dog says, “Where’s that stupid monkey? I can never trust him, I sent him off half an hour ago to bring me another leopard, and he’s still not back.”

A woman takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work. Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, so she puts him in the closet and shuts the door. Her husband also comes home, so she puts her lover in the closet, with the little boy.
The little boy says, “Dark in here.”
The man says, “Yes, it is.”
Boy - “I have a baseball.”
Man - “That’s nice.”
Boy - “Want to buy it?”
Man - “No, thanks.”
Boy - “My dad’s outside.”
Man - “OK, how much?”
Boy - “$$250″

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together.
The Boy - “Dark in here.”
Man - “Yes, it is.”
Boy - “I have a baseball glove.”
The lover remembering the last time, asks the boy: “How much?”
Boy - “$$750″
Man - “Fine.”

A few days later, the father says to the boy, “Grab your glove, let’s go outside and have a catch.
The boy says, “I can’t, I sold my baseball and my glove.”
The father asks, “How much did you sell them for?”
Boy - “$$1,000.”

The father says, “That’s terrible to overcharge your friends like that… that is ten way more than those two things cost. I’m going to take you to church and make you confess.”

They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.
The boy says, “Dark in here.”
The priest says, “Don’t start that shit again.”