When things go wrong and sadness fills your heart, when tears flow in your eyes, let me know cos I want to be there for you. I’m selling TISSUES, BUY 1 GET 1 FREE.

Paki man on his deathbed: “Aisha my wife, you here?” “Yes” “My son, my daughter, are you both here?” “Yes dad.” “Then who the hell is looking after the shop?”

You and I DO IT in bed, in the CAR, do it STANDING, do it SITTING, but its best doing it LYING DOWN, DONT WE JUST LOVE SMS-ING!!

I wish you were with me in my room, on my bed with the lights off, we get under the covers together so I can show you my new watch which glows in the dark!!

An urgent meeting is about to start in the jungle with many animals; Lions, Snakes, Tigers, but the meeting can’t start because the MONKEY is reading this text.

Tarzan and his animal’s went to the river. Tarzan took off all his clothes, the animals laughed, Tarzan asked why? the animals said: your tail is in front!

I just wanted to say you are such a good friend and mean so much to me that if the two of us were on a sinking ship with only 1 lifejacket, I’d really miss you!

Will you please send your foto to me very very quickly. we need it urgently as we are playing cards and have lost the “Joker”!!

This SMS is strictly intended for CUTE readers. However, as you have received it there must be a technical error for which the sender deeply apologises.

When you feel lonely, CHEER UP! Just go to the mirror and say “WOW I REALLY AM CUTE!” But dont make it a habit cos LIARS go to hell..

You! I trusted you but your big mouth is never shut! Why did you tell people my secret? You really disappoint me!! STOP TELLING POPLE THAT I’M SEXY and GORGEOUS.