Mosquito repellents don’t repel. They hide you. The spray blocks the
mosquito’s sensors so they don’t know you’re there.

Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least 6 feet away
from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush. I keep
my toothbrush in the living room now.

The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute for blood
plasma.

No piece of paper can be folded in half more than 7 times.

Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes.

You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television.

Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty years of age or older.

The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley’s gum.

The king of hearts is the only king without a mustache.

A Boeing 747’s wingspan is longer than the Wright brother’s first flight.
The wingspan of the B-36, a retired USAF bomber, was twice as long.

American Airlines saved $$40,000 in 1987 by eliminating 1 olive from each
salad served in first class.

Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.

Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.

The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets.

Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin.

The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer.
So did the first ‘Marlboro Man’.

Barbie’s full first name is Barbara Millicent Roberts.

Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than all of the Nike
factory workers in Malaysia combined.

Marilyn Monroe had six toes.

All U.S. presidents have worn glasses. Some just didn’t like to be seen
wearing them in public.

Walt Disney was afraid of mice.

Pearls melt in vinegar.

It is possible to lead a cow upstairs…but not downstairs.

The reason firehouses have circular stairways is from the days when engines
were pulled by horses. The horses were stabled on the ground floor and
figured out how to walk up straight staircases.

And the best for last…

Turtles can breathe through their butts.

A first-grade teacher, Ms Brooks was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, “Harry what is your problem?”

Harry answered, “I’m too smart for the first-grade.

My sister is in the third -grade and I’m smarter than she is!

I think I should be in the third-grade too!”

Ms Brooks had enough.

She took Harry to the principal’s office.

While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was.

The principal told Ms Brooks he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave. She agreed. Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: “What is 3 x 3?”
Harry: “9″.

Principal: “What is 6 x 6?”
Harry: “36″.

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know. The principal looks at Ms Brooks and tells her, “I think Harry can go to the third-grade.” Ms Brooks says to the principal, “Let me ask him some questions?” The principal and Harry both agree.

Ms Brooks asks, “What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?
“Harry, after a moment “Legs.”

Ms Brooks: “What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?”
Harry: “Pockets.”

Ms Brooks: “What does a dog do that a man steps into?”
Harry: “Pants”

Ms Brooks: What’s starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
Harry: Coconut

Ms Brooks: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?
The principal’s eyes open really wide and before he could stop the
answer, Harry was taking charge.
Harry: Bubble gum

Ms Brooks: What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down and a dog do on three legs?
The principal’s eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer.
Harry: Shake hands.

Ms Brooks: Now I will ask some “Who am I” sort of uestions, okay?
Harry: Yep.

Ms Brooks: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.
Harry: Tent

Ms Brooks: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you’re bored. The best man always has me first.
The Principal was looking restless and a bit tense.
Harry: Wedding Ring

Ms Brooks: I come in many sizes. When I’m not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.
Harry: Nose

Ms Brooks: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.
Harry: Arrow

Ms Brooks: What word starts with an ‘F’ and ends in ‘K’ that means a lot of heat and excitement?
Harry: Firetruck

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher,
“Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last ten questions wrong
myself.”

A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were out for a Sunday
afternoon flight on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane
developed engine trouble. In spite of the best efforts of the pilot the plane
started to go down. Finally the pilot grabbed a parachute, yelled to the
passengers that they had better jump, and bailed out. Unfortunately there were only
three parachutes remaining.

The doctor grabbed one and said “I’m a doctor, I
save lives, so I must live,” and jumped out.

The lawyer then said, “I’m the
smartest man in the world, I deserve to live!” He grabbed a parachute
and jumped.

The priest looked at the little boy and said, “My son, I’ve lived a
long and full life. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you.
Take the last parachute and live in peace”.

The little boy handed the
parachute back to the priest and said “Not to worry, Father. The
smartest man in the world just jumped out with my back pack.”